Now, before you begin to worry (or speculate) about what illegal activities I have been engaging in, let me first inform you that I actually chose to go to prison today. And it wasn't just any old jail, oh no. It was Chiang Mai's notorious women's prison. Ok, notorious was an exaggeration.
And what, you may ask, was I doing in a women's prison for an hour? Well, I was being poked, prodded and stretched in all the most peculiar ways. By an inmate. That's right, I got a criminal massage.
For about 4 quid I received a rough and fairly intimate massage from one of the female prisoners. The service is part of their rehabilitation training program and the money goes directly to the prisoners to use after their release.
The prisoners/masseurs are all within 6 months of release and I wanted to ask the woman who gave me my massage whether her story had a happy ending. But I thought asking a Thai woman about happy endings was probably an avenue I didn't want to explore.
Since I last posted a blog, I have been down to Koh Samui, Koh Phagnan (full moon party island) and Koh Tao (full moon recovery island). Full moon was an awesome night- the highlight being, as those who saw my status update will already know, the genius artwork I had on my back. Painted in neon colours were the words "FULL MOOO-N" and the picture of a cow. Hilarity ensued. The amount of people I had coming up to me that night going "that is one extremely funny pun you've got there on your back" was, well at least 3.
From Koh Tao, I made the epic 31 hour journey (by motorbike, ferry, bus, train and tuk tuk) to Chiang Mai where I am now. Tomorrow Im beginning a 3 day trekking adventure and in a week or so I will be heading to Laos for the sole reason of floating inebriated down a river in a black rubber ring. Can not wait!
Love to you all
Jonny x x x
Sunday, 28 November 2010
Saturday, 13 November 2010
Teacher, Leave Those Kids Alone
After more than three weeks at a school in a town two hours north of Bangkok, Teacher Jonathan is no more.
I had an awesome time at the school and the kids were great. In the least paedophilic way possible, they were all very, very cute.
Having now left the school, I feel that the I have left a lasting impact on the kids' abilities to speak English. After the first week they had mastered bookkeeping and by the end of the third, many were reciting passages from Shakespeare.
Okay, I am exaggerating slightly. Really, they were able to say such profound wisdoms as "yesterday I went to ayuttaya an I go swimming" or "tomorrow I go to school with friends". Personally, I'd actually prefer to hear these kinds of stories than a Macbeth or an Othello. But thats just me. Music may well be the food of love, William, but going to Bangkok to play ping pong is far more interesting.
Enough of that nonsense, I was meant to tell you what Im up to. I've spent the last 3 nights in Bangkok (one night included going to a Muay Thai boxing match which was incredible!) and tonight Im travelling to Phuket where ill be spending just the one night. After that its Phi Phi for two nights, a couple more on Koh Samui before heading to Koh Phagnan for full moon.
Alright, back to the nonsense. (Is it obvious I dont structure my blogs very well? ) Given the name of the blog, I thought it only right to mention how Israeli Thailand really is. Walking down the streets of Bangkok you bump into some big, big Jews as you pass delis, cafes, travel agents and shops all with big neon signs in Hebrew. I even stumbled across an Israeli restaurant serving bagels, chicken soup and other such delights. Needless to say it was the only restaurant on the road with an armed guard sitting outside.
Enough for now.
Love to you all
Jonny x x x
I had an awesome time at the school and the kids were great. In the least paedophilic way possible, they were all very, very cute.
Having now left the school, I feel that the I have left a lasting impact on the kids' abilities to speak English. After the first week they had mastered bookkeeping and by the end of the third, many were reciting passages from Shakespeare.
Okay, I am exaggerating slightly. Really, they were able to say such profound wisdoms as "yesterday I went to ayuttaya an I go swimming" or "tomorrow I go to school with friends". Personally, I'd actually prefer to hear these kinds of stories than a Macbeth or an Othello. But thats just me. Music may well be the food of love, William, but going to Bangkok to play ping pong is far more interesting.
Enough of that nonsense, I was meant to tell you what Im up to. I've spent the last 3 nights in Bangkok (one night included going to a Muay Thai boxing match which was incredible!) and tonight Im travelling to Phuket where ill be spending just the one night. After that its Phi Phi for two nights, a couple more on Koh Samui before heading to Koh Phagnan for full moon.
Alright, back to the nonsense. (Is it obvious I dont structure my blogs very well? ) Given the name of the blog, I thought it only right to mention how Israeli Thailand really is. Walking down the streets of Bangkok you bump into some big, big Jews as you pass delis, cafes, travel agents and shops all with big neon signs in Hebrew. I even stumbled across an Israeli restaurant serving bagels, chicken soup and other such delights. Needless to say it was the only restaurant on the road with an armed guard sitting outside.
Enough for now.
Love to you all
Jonny x x x
Tuesday, 2 November 2010
(A)Musings from Thailand
My Town
The town in which I am currently staying is a small town with few western luxuries. There is one 7/11, one swimming pool and one internet cafe. It also has one of the largest statues of Buddha in Thailand at almost 100m high. As the old Thai proverb goes... "A town is not a town without a golden Godzilla sized statue of his divine holiness". Or words to that effect.
During the week I am teaching at a school 20 minutes away by bicycle. You can forget the peculiar spotted seat designs and leaves-on-track delays of the packed northern line. The only thing that may stop me from getting to school would be an elephant-on-path delay. It hasn't happened to me yet, but I've heard it is a distinct possibility. It would certainly trunkate my journey.
Amusing Monks
The journey to school passes by a local temple and it is not uncommon to see orange tunic clad monks going about their duties. However, rather than praying or cleaning their statues of Buddha or doing other "holy" things, I have on several occassions seen them going about more mundane tasks. For example, one morning I saw one monk mowing the lawn and another morning I saw one clambering up a telephone poll, attempting to fix the wires, as another looked on, barking instructions. I do not think it is possible to describe quite how surreal these sights really are. It is at least comforting to know that being a devout follower of big B does not exempt onself from the most menial of chores.
Continuing my education in Buddhism, last weekend I attended the party and ceremony of a boy becoming a monk; although the focus was certainly more slanted towards the party. The drinking and dancing started early- when we arrived at 8am the beer was already flowing and by 10am the whisky was cracked open. I did not mind the drinking; it was the dancing that got to me. We danced for half an hour in the baking heat as we made our way to the temple for the "monkhood" ceremony. The majority of that time consisted of staggering old men smelling of whisky either coming up to us to "help" us with out dancing (this included a full hands on hips grope which I wasnt all that comfortable with) or them dragging us to their middle-aged daughters/sisters/cousins/wives in a bid to pair us off with the most unattractive and desperate women they could find. They were basically acting as pimps. Primark pimps: They had a stock of cheap tat - all made in Asia - and only the larger sizes were left.
The Real Thailand
Without wanting to sound too "gap yah" ish, I am enjoying how unlike typical tourist Thailand the town in which I am living is. An abscence of hot showers and western food helps to enhance the idea that I am experiencing a part of Thailand that few travellers get to.
Having said all that.... In just over 2 weeks I'll be heading to the full moon party on Koh Phagnan where I plan to fully and unashamedly reimmerse myself in all the western comforts I have been deprived of recently. It will be an orgy of pizzas, burgers, hot showers, and conversations in English. If anyone reading this is going to be there (November 21st) then be sure to let me know!
Lots of love to everyone
Jonny x x x
The town in which I am currently staying is a small town with few western luxuries. There is one 7/11, one swimming pool and one internet cafe. It also has one of the largest statues of Buddha in Thailand at almost 100m high. As the old Thai proverb goes... "A town is not a town without a golden Godzilla sized statue of his divine holiness". Or words to that effect.
During the week I am teaching at a school 20 minutes away by bicycle. You can forget the peculiar spotted seat designs and leaves-on-track delays of the packed northern line. The only thing that may stop me from getting to school would be an elephant-on-path delay. It hasn't happened to me yet, but I've heard it is a distinct possibility. It would certainly trunkate my journey.
Amusing Monks
The journey to school passes by a local temple and it is not uncommon to see orange tunic clad monks going about their duties. However, rather than praying or cleaning their statues of Buddha or doing other "holy" things, I have on several occassions seen them going about more mundane tasks. For example, one morning I saw one monk mowing the lawn and another morning I saw one clambering up a telephone poll, attempting to fix the wires, as another looked on, barking instructions. I do not think it is possible to describe quite how surreal these sights really are. It is at least comforting to know that being a devout follower of big B does not exempt onself from the most menial of chores.
Continuing my education in Buddhism, last weekend I attended the party and ceremony of a boy becoming a monk; although the focus was certainly more slanted towards the party. The drinking and dancing started early- when we arrived at 8am the beer was already flowing and by 10am the whisky was cracked open. I did not mind the drinking; it was the dancing that got to me. We danced for half an hour in the baking heat as we made our way to the temple for the "monkhood" ceremony. The majority of that time consisted of staggering old men smelling of whisky either coming up to us to "help" us with out dancing (this included a full hands on hips grope which I wasnt all that comfortable with) or them dragging us to their middle-aged daughters/sisters/cousins/wives in a bid to pair us off with the most unattractive and desperate women they could find. They were basically acting as pimps. Primark pimps: They had a stock of cheap tat - all made in Asia - and only the larger sizes were left.
The Real Thailand
Without wanting to sound too "gap yah" ish, I am enjoying how unlike typical tourist Thailand the town in which I am living is. An abscence of hot showers and western food helps to enhance the idea that I am experiencing a part of Thailand that few travellers get to.
Having said all that.... In just over 2 weeks I'll be heading to the full moon party on Koh Phagnan where I plan to fully and unashamedly reimmerse myself in all the western comforts I have been deprived of recently. It will be an orgy of pizzas, burgers, hot showers, and conversations in English. If anyone reading this is going to be there (November 21st) then be sure to let me know!
Lots of love to everyone
Jonny x x x
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