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I realise that it has been a while since I wrote one of these rarely-read narratives, populated with poor puns (apologies for the atrocious alliteration) but you must understand that it is not merely apathy that has quelled my ability to blog. Matters of grave importance, such as my current illegal immigrant status, have been pre-occupying.
We are currently in Peru, having endured a 19 hour long adventure via four buses and one illegal taxi that circumnavigated Lake Titicaca. To enter into Peru we crossed at an abandoned border without our passports having to be shown once. Immigration control is obviously one of Peru's lesser concerns - It's bordering on ridiculous.
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Since my last blog I have visited an array of amazing places, met a plethora of people and engaged in numerous adrenaline filled, heart-pumping activities. Fortunately for you my memory of, and ability to orate such events is less than perfect. A summary of those that most stand out seems most suitable...
Fiji
Fiji is exactly how you imagine it. Glorious sunshine, interrupted only by the odd monsoon shower; golden beaches that frame the most turquoise of seas, and the friendliest of people. However, as friendly as the Fijian people are, it still takes you aback when you see the men adorning skirts and the women adorning thicker moustaches than any 22 year old north London Jew could ever dream of growing. I guess everything is indeed the opposite way round in the souther hemisphere.
Most of my time in Fiji was spent relaxing in a hammock, however two nights stand out in particular. The first was my birthday. David organised a grand celebration which included a shipped-in-from-the-mainland cake. It would have been the most memorable of birthdays had David not also organised a lethal dirty pint. From then on, recollection of that night becomes less than crystal clear.
The second night was the night of the Tokyo earthquake. All Pacific islands were put on tsunami alert and at around 1am the police blasted through a megaphone that we were to be evacuated to higher ground. However at our hostel we were hearing varying reports regarding the gravity of the situation and thus in another example of my laziness, I decided that I would simply move from my dorm on the ground floor to the one on the first floor. What? That's higher ground, isn't it?
In the end only 2-3cm of water hit Fiji and we waved goodbye to any danger.
New Zealand
Lord of the Rings does not do New Zealand justice. The landscape is even more beautiful than that portrayed in the movies and the people are surprisingly taller. It is a stunning country with an unfathomable amount of things to see and do. It's like Australia on steroids.
One particular highlight (quite literally) was skydiving. Falling from 15,000ft is an indescribable feeling, though I'll try to describe it. Adrenaline pumping, palms sweating and nerves racing. It didn't help that my ogre-like Brazilian instructor was making jokes about how it was only his second jump and pointing to the plaster on his finger, saying "look, first jump not so good". Regardless of his feeble attempts to unnerve me, we landed safely, and needless to say I detached myself from his freakishly enormous frame as quickly as possible.
Besides skydiving, the Tongariro crossing was my favourite activity in NZ. The Tongariro crossing consisted of hiking for seven hours, covering 22km up, down and around snow covered volcanoes. That may not appeal to everyone, but what we gained at the end was well worth it. The sense of achievement and pride within ourselves, not the aching limbs and bloody blisters.
It was too dangerous that day to scale Mt Doom (from LOTR fame). Despite this initial set back and blow to my confidence (if a 3ft 4 hobbit could reach the top whilst being hounded by all sorts of baddies, why couldnt I?) we carried on. I could make the obvious joke of the hike having its ups and downs but I fear I may have used it in a previous blog when describing bungee jumping. Then again, I doubt anyone is likely to remember any of my previous blogs. So, I guess, the hike had its ups and downs. Literally.
Chile
I said goodbye to David and western culture and flew in to Santiago, Chile where I awaited the arrival of Adam Jason Cohen and David Louis Shemoon. Things were about to get a lot more handsome. That comment was at the request of AJC.
Travelling south from Santiago we were fairly under prepared in the clothes department. We should have realised- I mean the clue is in the name- it was effin' freezing!
Our favourite place was San Pedro de Atacama- a town in the north of Chile in the middle of the driest desert in the world. It seems that the weather played an important role in our perceptions of the places we visited in Chile. From there we did day trips to see geysers and salt lakes and to go sandboarding.Unlike in Namibia and New Zealand, this type of sandboarding was standing up, similar to snowboarding, and not lying flat on the board. Standing up is easier said than done however. The majority of the time was spent on my arse. I think that by the end of the day I had acquired half of the desert in my shoes, hair and ears.
Bolivia
From San Pedro de Atacama we travelled to Uyuni in Bolivia, passing through the salt flats. Along the way we saw numerous pituresque salt lagoons, pink flamingoes and a rock shaped as a tree. The last one was as exciting as it sounds. A rock. In the shape of a tree.
At the salt flats we admired the view for a good 2 minutes, spending the rest of the time with genitalia hanging out, attempting rude and humorous photos. We had lunch at the salt flats and needless to say Adam joked about needing salt for his food countless times. Un-Boliviable.
Elsewhere in Bolivia we visited Potosi (where we did a tour of a silver mine); Sucre (where we watched a fashion show in the middle of town, waving at the male models to distract them) and La Paz, the capital.
In La Paz, Shemoon unfortunately got salmonella poisoning and had to spend 3 days in hospital. The main cause of salmonella poisioning is from un-cooked food such as chicken but as we had all eaten similar meals, we were able to rule that possibility out. On Wikipedia, it claims that another cause can be from eating or being in contact with animal excrement. Shemoon won't admit it, but for his safety Adam and I are making sure he doesn't go near and more dog's behinds.
Peru
So here we are. It took 20 hours to get to Arrequipa, but we finally arrived, even if a tad bit illegaly. In the next few days we will be trekking the second largest canyon in the world (trekking the first would just be showing off) and then heading to Cuzco for rainforest and machu pichu shizzle. All very exciting.
Hasta Luego. Ciao ciao
xx
